Saturday, June 18, 2011

Getting Back

Jessie & Katie 10/1998
I started this blog thinking about things that I hadn't finished and mentioned friendships as being one I easily let get away from me.  And then - wonders of the internet - an old friend found me on Facebook and we have been sending long, rambling messages back and forth the last couple of days.  Even though we haven't spoken in 6 or 7 years, we have picked right up where we left off.  I immediately started sharing things with her that I don't really share with anyone and feel like I am trying to fit those 7 years into Facebook messages.  We are making plans to get together and I am trying to find a way to do it that doesn't involve me ignoring my kids for hours so we can catch up. 
She is a labor and delivery nurse which I can only imagine is an amazing job.  To get to participate in the miracle of bringing life into the world just seems incredible.  I will never forget the moments of my kids' births and I definitely wondered what it would be like to go to work and witness someone's life changing several times a day.  To see people transform from a couple into a family.  To see a new life take its first breath.  To see pure innocence in all its amazing wonder.  I look at my kids every day and I am shocked that we made them.  And now to figure out how to raise them right. 
And just like always, Jessie had some great advice for me about ways to give back to the community.  I am really excited to share them with other MOMS and get their participation.  I had thought about hospitals as an essential part of the community but I was thinking more of things to give to kids in the ER or making cards to kids who are admitted to the pediatric department but Jessie had great ideas for L&D/NICU.  That's where we became MOMS!  
I am definitely excited to have new ideas and I am even more excited to have renewed this friendship.  I always thought that once I lost touch with friends - getting back in touch would be awkward.  How different can you be from when you were 21 or 18 or 14?  But this feels completely natural and exciting and a little bit like that new relationship feeling.  I know my brain is doing one of those chemical reaction thingies like when you exercise or have a girl's night out or that magic it does that lets you run on 2 hours of sleep a week with a colicky newborn.  
But you also get this great happy feeling from helping others.  It makes it easier to keep going - and hopefully keep making decisions that are good for me and others.  I used to wish I was someone else.  I used to wish I had the drive to do things that seemed so life-altering.  I used to read about people taking vacations in far away countries and volunteering their vacation away.  Or people who would travel to places like New Orleans to rebuild homes and lives.  Or people who quit their job to start a Non-Profit or who took a year off to teach English in developing countries.  Or people who were touched by an illness or condition or accidental death and changed their lives, and the lives of many others, by creating new laws and research organizations to make a difference.  I still don't see myself as one of those people.  But I used to not see myself as much of anything.  Certainly not a mother and President of the MOMS Club of Front Royal and on the Special Education Advisory Committee of Warren County to advocate for my child and others.  I didn't see myself as someone who valued health and wellness.  I didn't see myself as someone who could change anything.  So I guess I have come a long way . . . and there are no boundaries to where I can go.

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