Sound Advice #tbt

Once upon a time in the summer of 2001 . . .  I was 18 and living at home and working full time and hadn't finished high school.  I was debating moving out of my Mom's house and was battling with my boss at work.  We butted heads on a regular basis but usually resolved things by the end of the shift.  So I am on the phone with my gay best friend ranting about everything and he gives me the best advice ever:  "Hang up the phone.  Put on Alicia Keys. And clean something.  You know that's how you think best."

WHAT?!  He was 100% right.  I put on Songs in A Minor and started packing my room to move out.  My Mom came in and saw me packing and burst into tears and then we had a heart to heart.  Things didn't magically resolve themselves and I moved out at the end of the year - but we were on good terms and I was actually prepared to apartment hunt and be independent.  And my boss and I continued to drive each other crazy and fix it again. Until we stopped working together the following year.

Lots of things followed that summer when I was eighteen - 9/11 happened and shook everyone to the core.  The War on Terror started and my brother left West Point to go to Iraq.  I got my own apartment and my Mom moved to Lancaster PA.  I fell in love with the man I would marry and got my sweet dog Charlie.  I started a new job at a law firm and moved to a new apartment and we bought furniture from Ikea and spent weeks couch shopping.  Tim and I have had a billion ups and downs, 3 pregnancies, buying a house, an autism diagnosis, and countless other adventures.  I've been a runner, I've been depressed, and I have blogged.

Here I am - the summer I am 31 - and I am drawing on the advice from my gay best friend when I was 18.  "Put on Alicia Keys and clean something."  It really does help me think.  What else helps - reading.  Sitting down with a cup of coffee and writing.  Taking the dog for a walk.  Hiking.

I know I'm not the only one who doesn't know where they are going as an adult. The past year I have been trying to read more non-fiction.  I think learning about other people's lives is so interesting.  I read about people like Ultra-marathoner Scott Jurek, Olympic Runner and WWII POW survivor Louis Zamperini, Peter Jenkins and his dog Cooper who walked across America to find himself and his country, and John Krakauer who climbed Mt. Everest in 1996 and was witness to a devastating tragedy.  I read about Cheryl Strayed and David Miller aka AWOL and Bill Bryson.  I've learned I do want to thru-hike the AT and that I probably will never want to run 100+ miles in the desert.  I've learned that people can endure more than they would ever imagine and that finding yourself can happen in 1000 miles or at a chance encounter.

Green Smoothie Love

I've learned that I love green smoothies loaded with hemp protein and that searching #veganathlete on Instagram is motivating when I just want to crawl into bed with a beer and a stack of oreos.  I've learned that splurging on a personal trainer once a week is a great decision because it is an investment in my health and wellness.  I've learned that I need to take chances and push myself.  Put a bathing suit on and spend the day at the pool with my kids.  I've learned that a 6am hike on the AT is a great way to start any day - but its even better with more friends than there are bears.

5 miles on the AT for breakfast

I've learned that parenting is such a balancing act and that you aren't going to do it all right all the time.  I've learned that the past is something you should look back on fondly or shaking your head at the decisions you once made.  I've learned that its never too late to start something.  I've learned that its okay to let your blog go forever and then pick up again - just like all those journals I once started.

I've learned that its okay to ask for help when you are overwhelmed and that I have an amazing community here and I just keep finding new people I adore. I've learned that I want open shelving in my kitchen and that I will probably continue to have a stack of pallets in my backyard that may never realize their potential as shelves.  I've learned that I can grow plants from seeds but only when I can forget about them and just let them fend for themselves.

I've learned that the weight comes off slowly when you want to keep beer in your life.  But the weight will come off.  I've learned that I am strong - and I am continuing to get stronger, both mentally and physically.  Someday I will be pounding out push-ups and remembering how hard they had once been.  I've learned that my heart warms when my friends tag me or send me pins because they know me so well.  I've learned that taking chances are scary but that helping myself and others is greater than fear.

A group I really admire, City Fit Girls, is looking for ambassadors who are passionate about fitness, nutrition and wellness.  My darling friend Stacy thought of me and tagged me on Instagram and I immediately completed the form even though I am still so far from where I want to be.  And my meals don't look beautiful and I hate taking selfies and I was terrified to put myself as someone who can motivate others.  But then I remembered my first Biggest Loser program for the MOMS Club of Front Royal.  And how much I loved putting together the program and the challenges.  And I remember how I feel when I work out or hike with friends.  So I don't live in a big city where you hit the juice bar after yoga in the park.  And I don't have any certifications in training or nutrition.  But I do know how hard it is to make time for yourself.  And I know what its like to try and make your own health a priority when you have kids who take so much from you but give you so much more in return.

I guess where I am going with all of this is that - I still don't know what I want to be or do when I grow up.  But I have a lifetime to keep learning and growing and changing my mind.

Zac and I on the Woodstock Tower

Oh the guilt!

I started this blog as a way of holding myself accountable to make sure I was doing good - for myself - for my family - for my community.  And I definitely got off track (last post was in June!). And like anything else - instead of jumping right back into it, I procrastinated my way into a deep hole.  I am a terrible procrastinator!  Instead of facing things head on, I ignore them and hope they don't go away.  I actually did that with my bills when I was 19.  My mailman left a note me for to check my mail because it was getting too full.  Once I stopped fearing the task:  I sat down with all the bills, a calendar, and started planning.  I figured out when I could pay each bill (or a portion of each) and had an end date in sight.  And then I felt awesome!  Invincible!  Throw it at me - I can take it!  Too bad that feeling doesn't ever last.  Its like that saying that motivation doesn't last and neither does bathing - that's why we do it every day?

Luckily I am surrounded by awesome people who inspire and amaze me each day.  I have friends who tackle a workout that is daunting (Michelle blogs about it here), who plan meals and grocery shop with total efficiency, who start to minimize (check out my inspiration Kristin), who decide to tackle their finances and don't let little things get in their way.  Now obviously these people aren't perfect (and most of them don't blog so I can't link them) - but I see them as total inspirations and feel ready to try again.  You would think the overwhelming guilt I experience when I procrastinate would be enough motivation . . .

Credit

I will be 30 on October 10th.  I do not fear 30. I keep saying I am ready to take on a new decade.  I started my 20s working at a law firm, dating my darling guy, living with my sweet puppy, in my own apartment and still totally unsure of myself and what I should be doing.  Since then, I have had 3 kids, gotten married, bought a house, adopted a new home town, and tackled things that I would not have been able to imagine years earlier.

And while I don't expect my 30s to suddenly make things make sense - I am determined to take them on with a new mindset.  Yes, it is probably hard.  No, this first step won't be the only step.  Yes, there will be setbacks.  No, giving up is not easier.  I don't have a big plan.  As with anything - it is steps.  And I will applaud myself for each step and give myself full credit even if I only get 15 minutes done.  It will be sporadic right now - and that's just how I do it!

So here is what I am looking at:
 

Today I got up and worked out at 5:30am.  I didn't complete the workout before Liam came out coughing and asking to snuggle.  But I got most of it done.  Worked up a great sweat.  And didn't drag myself to the coffee pot.

Yesterday I planned meals and grocery shopped.  With a list.  For a lot of healthy foods to make healthy meals.  Tonight it is Country French Barley Vegetable Potage from The Plant Powered Diet.


 I also started going through the living room for items to donate to Front Royal Women's Resource Center's Yard Sale on October 13th (more on that later).  That day is also the Festival of Leaves downtown.  My oldest will be marching in the parade with his Cub Scouts troop. (Sooooo excited!)

On a more positive note:  check out my cute kids and the adorable moments when I wasn't blogging! 

Zac at a Front Royal Baseball Game

Liam at the fountains in the Inner Harbor, Baltimore

Apple Picking

Selling Cub Scout Popcorn

Tree Huggers at the Park

Fitness Goals

If you open any magazine right now, you will read about a Great Get Fit Plan for 2012.  You are going to be healthy and full of energy on your quest to a bikini body!  You will also find articles about making goals and sticking to them (ahem), recipes that will wow, achieving the perfect night’s sleep, how to make more money, and better sex!  But let’s face it – if everyone who read the articles followed the advice and became perfect – we wouldn’t need magazines.  Success at anything requires more than just reading an article and following the steps.  There is something in you that must click before it will all work. 

I am reading this amazing book right now:  A Hand to Guide Me by Denzel Washington.  Yes – that Denzel Washington.  It has stories of being inspired by someone in your life whether it is a parent, coach, or neighbor.  It shows how much impact a conversation can have.  What a difference a little encouragement can make.  How everyone needs a push in the right direction.  Even someone with a lot of drive to succeed had a moment in their life, or someone in their life, and they had a turning point where they knew that they could do more. 

I am hoping that I am finding a turning point now.  Switching to a vegan diet has done a lot for my energy and my spirit and I am ready to move on to the next step.  My friend Jill recommended I sign up for a race or sport to foster my competitive spirit, have something to hold myself accountable (like a race date or team counting on me), and have set goals to reach for (like a training program or practice schedule).  Since I am not athletic and I actually enjoyed running three years ago (before my heart literally rebelled) I have decided to run a 5K on February 25.  Jill is going to help with a training schedule and I am so excited!

Exercise has so many benefits that it seems like a no-brainer.  Besides getting in shape physically – exercise benefits your heart and brain and your other insides.  Regular exercise helps with depression, stress and anxiety, insomnia, low energy, and so much more.  But sometimes it’s hard to get off the couch or make time in our schedules for it.  So I want to bring you some stories of others who did – set and reached their fitness goals.

My friend Andi is amazing.  I totally want to be her when I grow up.   She is a Mom, wife, Realtor®, blogger (check out The FroRo I Know), and still finds time to work out.  She set a goal to complete a half-marathon in under 3 hours and began a 12 week training program.  She had to run at least three times a week on non-consecutive days and sometimes had a hard time fitting in her long runs on Saturdays (I don't know why - she doesn't have anything else going on).  Andi realized that having a running buddy would have helped her deal with running longer than 5 miles and when asked about what she would have done differently she says, "I would have trained 4:1 intervals (4mins run, 1min walk) as this is how I ran the race and it felt great.  I would have had great running shoes from The Running Store from the get go. I would have run a few smaller races during training.  All in all I came in at 2:38 about a 12minute mile for 13.1 miles... it was a great sense of accomplishment and I will do it again next year."

My Aunt Rebecca also took on a fitness venture - in the name of charity.  She participated in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer several years ago.  The event was 60 miles in three days and she had to also raise $1900.  Through support with the program, friends and family, my Aunt Rebecca was able to finish the walk and raise over $3000!  "I had a pulled hamstring in the middle of my training (and in the middle of a 10 mile training walk). I learned that I couldn't slack off in my daily training and try to make it up on the weekend.  Also - on the 3rd day of the actual walk I had 4 huge blisters. I walked 16 miles, each step painful, just by reminding myself of what was waiting for me at the end -- my family!"  

My Mom is definitely someone who has inspired her friends and family in the name of fitness and health.  I remember her beginning to walk around a neighborhood track and then start to run.  She ended up taking on a job as a certified personal trainer and aerobics instructor and then was the manager of a gym.  She once led my friend and I through an ab workout when we were 13.  Our stomachs were so sore the next day it hurt to laugh!  When I asked her about goals, she filled me in on how she has kept it all up through several major set backs (including foot and knee surgery) as well as maintaining an exercise habit through busy work and family schedules.  "Training for races by setting a structured work out schedule was always fun for me and motivating.  I use a calendar to mark off my daily work outs and hate to see blank days.  If it is an intentional rest day, I will write that down."  She explains:  "All the goals I have set with fitness are not the end of the road.  It is a constant journey without a finish line.  To live a healthy lifestyle is not a set weight or single achievement.  There are ups and downs - on the scale, with time and other life issues - that one needs to adjust to. The biggest issue seems to be gaining and regaining balance. How do you measure that?"

http://www.squawkfox.com/2009/01/06/free-printable-workout-log/