I just read a post by A Sugar and Spice Life called Trading Places about her daughter with autism. She talks about how she wishes she could trade places with her daughter for just a little while to see what its like, see how she thinks and feels. I have thought thousands of times about how I wish I could get inside my Zac's head. He is so smart and caring. He loves jumping: off the school bus into my arms, off my bed onto the floor, from the recliner to the couch, off the last step on the porch. He loves playing with puzzles and letters and numbers. He loves all animals. He loves playing in dirt and water. He loves being outside and carousels and roller coasters. He loves ice cream cones and granola bars. He can spell more than a dozen words and can count to 87. He is amazing at computer games and puzzles and can navigate an iPad way better than I could. He is so aware of what is going on but he doesn't talk. He can say any number of words. He understands everything and can follow directions if he wishes. He attends preschool with the most amazing team of teachers and therapists. He goes with us to air shows and amusement parks and museums and parades. He goes to listen to music downtown and to Chuck E Cheese for birthday parties. Zac loves playing skee ball and going down slides. He thinks tennis is hilarious and likes to wear shoes that light up. I know all this about my little guy but I don't get to hear about what his dreams are at night or how his day was at school. He doesn't plead his case when he and Kyle are fighting and won't yell at Liam to stop taking his toys away. He doesn't tell me what he wants to be for Halloween or what he wants to be when he grows up. I know he is amazing but I don't know what he is thinking! We laugh about the differences in our three boys. At bedtime when tucking everyone in: Kyle replies with "Good Night - I love you too." Liam says "Night Night - I wuv ooo" and Zac is usually quiet. Sometimes he will saying something random like "Truck". They are all funny and crazy and get in equal amounts of trouble. They all have their own ways of making me nuts by the end of the day. And I can't imagine them any other way. I don't want Zac to be someone other than who he is. But I would like to hear that voice a little more often - I know he has amazing things to say!